By Joel Shults, C1 Contributor
The essence of integrity is wholeness and unity of character. Integrity is who we are. Integrity is a choice, although it can be battered by circumstances — chipped away by life’s challenges. That challenge could be a family crisis, depression, substance abuse, or just a temporary funk.
Our closest partners — on whom our lives and careers often depend — might at times need our help in maintaining their integrity.
Here are four signs your co-worker may be in crisis and how you can observe and understand any change in your partner’s integrity.
1. Behavior Changes
2. Hidden Outcry
Unusual conversation themes, hypothetical questions, expressions of defeat, or avoiding certain topics can tell you that something significant is below the surface. A direct question may seem intrusive, but if you sense something needs attention, ask a direct question about your suspicions.
If you’re wrong or they don’t want to talk about it, you’ve at least established yourself as a person who cares.
3. Distancing / Secrecy
It could be an inappropriate sexual relationship, substance abuse or other addiction, or even illegal activity. You may want to confront the person and offer them help, or at least let them know you are there to listen.
4. Change in Empathy
It may be a positive self-awareness or religious conversion, or a sign of maturing and adjusting to the weird world of law enforcement. Either way, the transition in world view can be rough and a sympathetic ear can be helpful.
Your Intervention Can Save a Life
Bear in mind that asking “why” questions is less effective than asking “what” or “when” questions. “Why are you so grouch lately?” will yield a less helpful conversation than “I’ve noticed you’ve been a little down lately. When did that start?”
If your colleague’s job is suffering, your best role might be to make your supervisor or human resources department know about the person’s behavior. If you know someone who has helped you — or someone else — through a rough patch, offer to help set up an appointment.
If there is ever a sign of potentially suicidal behavior
We take risks when we choose to offer help to a friend or colleague. Which will we regret more: wishing you had or wishing you hadn’t?
About the author Joel Shults operates Street Smart Training and is the founder of the National Center for Police Advocacy
